thoughts about music and getting a little older

Thursday, February 5, 2015

“Home is where you wear your hat.”



-Lord John Whorfin / Dr. Emilio Lizardo from

The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai Across the 8th Dimension



I drove my eldest child to the Oakland airport a couple of weeks ago, past the city where she was born, past the exit I used to take back to my Oakland apartment when I returned late at night from trips to Los Angeles, Stockton or Baja, California in the late 80’s with the man who is now my husband. Past the exit I felt the clutch slip on my first car but didn’t know that’s what was happening and thought I was going to die a fiery death.

On this trip to the airport, my eldest and youngest child and I drove past the Oakland Coliseum, which might be called the Oracle Arena because every big arena seems to be named after a business now. This is the same venue where I saw the Grateful Dead and Bob Dylan in 1987 and later in 1989 where I viewed the Boston Red Sox play the Oakland A’s and I could not let go of my ingrained childhood loyalty to the Red Sox. The Red Sox lost but the series continued when the A’s faced the San Francisco Giants in the “Battle of the Bay.” There was a little natural disaster called the Loma Prieta earthquake in the middle of all of this rivalry and once all the dust settled and baseball could resume the remaining games were all held at the Oakland Coliseum.



This Oakland airport is the same place I sat crying into a payphone when “People’s Express” cancelled my flight to Massachusetts in June of 1985. It’s there where I learned about credit cards, business bankruptcy and reading the fine print.



After my eldest daughter effortlessly waved goodbye and disappeared into the airport last month, my youngest child and I drove past the exit that once had a view of giant homes and 1970’s era dark brown cedar shake apartment buildings which appeared to hang precariously onto the hillside over the Walnut Creek tunnel until they were consumed by the Oakland Hills fire in late 1991 when I was 7 months pregnant.

I almost never think about the Loma Prieta Earthquake or the Oakland hills fire from my Minnesota home. I also never have these visceral memories of California while driving around the streets of St Paul where I am more likely to remember the winter my second child was born and I barely left the house because it was so cold and icy outside.



All of these stream of consciousness memories flood my brain on this one 25 minute trip to the Oakland airport with my oldest and youngest child in the car with me. The oldest, who I carried in a front baby pack, bundled under my oversized vintage overcoat when she was colicky for her first 8 weeks of life. She and I walked up and down College Avenue in Oakland where her inconsolable wails were drowned out by the buses, cars and BART trains. We walked every night to spare the neighbors in our small apartment building the incessant crying.



I have lived in Minnesota for 20 years and in the same house for 14. That is the longest I have ever lived in one house or even in one state for my entire 51 years. Two of my three children were born in Minnesota and my youngest has only ever lived in one house, except for the two semesters we spent in California for my husband’s sabbatical in 2001 and now in 2015. I consider myself fortunate to have called so many places home because each time I visit one of those homes I see some street sign or shop or hillside that draws out a memory from my aging brain that I forgot was in there.