Middle
age dad bands are a thing. In my small circle of friends I can list off 5 dads
who are in a band just for fun and an occasional gig at a local dive bar. The
same cannot be said of my mom friends. Most are too busy with work, carpools,
volunteer commitments and the occasional book club or night out to make time to
hang out and jam. The “to do” list is infinitely long most days and the tasks
just rollover to the next.
A
few years ago I really wanted to start a band with my friends but no one had
any time to spare and there was a severe shortage of instrument players. Most
of my friends were willing to be back up singers and many could play the piano
or flute but we really lacked killer guitar players. I
took about 3 guitar lessons in 5th grade and then just taught myself
the rest-which means I don’t actually know how to play more than a few songs by
Joni Mitchell, The Beatles or Neil Young. I must have left my guitar at home
after my first year of college and it disappeared at some point- possibly sold
at a yard sale when my family moved. The passing of time and lack of lessons
has not improved my guitar playing skills thus making it hard to actually start a band in the first place. Factor in the time
commitment and the lack of willing participants, the mom band “Whack ol’ Ladies” never got off the ground.
I remember hearing about a musical from the 80's called “Angry Housewives” from one of my Seattle friends
when I was a senior in college. With a sparkle in her eyes she recounted her
favorite song from the show “Eat your F*ckin Cornflakes.” I loved that show
without ever seeing it. When I was 21, I couldn’t fathom a time when I was
married with kids and pets and the idea that someone could write something so irreverent
about motherhood was exhilarating and made me less queasy about growing up. I wanted to be that band of moms singing about corn flakes and carpools with the occasional cover of a Clash or X song thrown in.
Enter plan B- find an existing band or group of singers and
beg to join. Choirs are big in the Midwest- Gay Men’s Chorus, One Voice Mixed
Choir, Kantorei and Twin Cities Community Gospel Choir are only a few. I didn't want to sing religious music and really
just wanted to sing songs by The Clash and X with a bunch of women who appreciated
the irony. Finally I asked the right person who had a friend in Prairie Fire
Lady Choir. At the first rehearsal we practiced a mash up of Mr. Sandman (The Chordettes)
and Enter Sandman (Metallica). It was then that I knew I found my people. We have an eclectic repertoire:
Fiona Apple, George Michael, Prince, Tom Waits, Buddy Holly, The Cookies and
more. We range in age and musical experience and many are not moms at all but we all come together and
escape through singing. Because I often think in song lyrics, the Talking Heads' song “Life During Wartime”comes to mind every time we practice “we dress
like students, we dress like housewives....”
